The most powerful question you can ask: “How can I help you?”

I just read an article on MSNBC titled, “Today’s college kids lack empathy,” (http://bit.ly/dCSAAs) and I found it really interesting. Generation Y, my generation, has also become know as “generation me.” This didn’t settle well with me.

For those that don’t know, I’ve been doing a lot of work recently with Keith Ferrazzi (best selling author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back). One of the reasons I think Keith and I get along so well is a principle so important to us both: “Lead with generosity.” Think about it…it’s really quite simple. Stop what you’re doing for a second, take yourself out of the picture, and really focus on the other person FIRST.

I think this principle is so important, especially for the Gen Yers that MSNBC’s article talks about. So here’s my suggestion, when you meet new people, or are connecting with current or old friends, ask them, “How can I help you?” and really mean it! Put them first. Why? Because no one wants to be around people who are selfish and only in it for themselves. Gone are the days when we should be competing to see who can make the most money the quickest. The new game is who can help the most people, period!

And DON’T KEEP COUNT! (another Ferrazzi principle from NEA). Seriously, keeping count doesn’t do any good. It’s not tit for tat, you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours. Listen, I’ll scratch your back all day long as long as it’s helping you and I can. Stop worrying about who bought lunch last time. If you can afford to buy your friend’s lunch and you want to, then do it because you want to and it brings you happiness to do it.

So, don’t keep count, and always ask, “How can I help you?” Try it out and let me know how it works for you. I think you’ll be pleased.